Excerpt of a story I’ll never finish #2

I remember when we used to smile at each other from across the room like we were seeing each other in a new light. 

Your smile covered my heart with warmth and your touch sent shivers down my spine. Not a bad one though.

It’s too late now for anything more to be said. We aren’t what we used to be.

Advertisements

Keep on trying

I’ts devastating , you know?

Doing your best , giving your all but never having the results you’re expecting to get. Trying to earn your keep but ended up looking like you haven’t done anything to deserve it.

College. Who thought that was a fantastic idea? Well ,kidding aside, since it’s the last move before actually stepping into the “real world” we tend to feel somewhat excited for the near future while others not so much. For me, I’m equally excited and anxious about the whole “real world” thing. 

But before actually getting to that part before relishing the thoughts and imaginations of you working hard and earning money and actually loving your job, the first problem and the most crucial part is *drum roll* actually getting the degree! No degree? No job! And without good grades there wouldn’t  be any graduation anytime soon. If you think about it it’s very challenging and with alot of close friends and peers around you there is a very small chance that you might actually enjoy  college. 

Might I just say. I’m definitely in college and I’m sure that what I am doing is right because ever since I started college, nights became my days and my days are just an overtime of whatever i’ve been studying during the night. A continuous process. Never ending. Suffocating. 

I’ve been switching from being depressed to hopeful this couple of weeks. This particular week trashed any hope I’ve been trying to harbor. Alot of naysayers, big headed , unsupportive people had been blocking my conviction to achieve success and it has been nerve-racking. Losing confidence and belittling myself is not a good road to take, i know. There’s just those moments when your trust in yourself wavers and you start questioning things and your capabilities. It’s like your too dumb to understand things . Professors judging you, friends laighing at you. It takes a serious beating. 

College is a battlefield. You win some and you lose some, by that I meant my midterms ’cause I flunked that freaking exam (big time). The important thing is you get up and keep on trying. 

Do you ever wonder?

How stupid we are for taking things for granted then regret it afterwards? Why do we always have to wait for something negative to happen before we actually start showing that we do care. We got used to saying the word SORRY that we made it the back-up-option if ever things dont work out the way we thought it would instead of making things right before it actually starts falling apart. We dont have to regret anything.